Fandom: That 70's Show
Main Characters: Hyde, Jackie
Spoilers: If you haven't seen "Moon Over Point Place"
Warnings: Ummm... mention of drugs?
Short Summary: Hyde's thoughts on what happened at the end of Moon Over Point Place. Companion to My Hero.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’ll tell ya what it is. I’m a freaking idiot. Why do I do stuff like this? I mean, it’s Jackie, man… Jackie Burkhart, the world’s most annoying girl. And yet, something about her made me get my ass thrown in jail for her. I am the world’s biggest moron, period.
So Jackie’s trying to prove to me that she’s right for me or some bull like that, and she goes out and buys a bag, and… well, first of all, I was pretty much freaked out that she did it in the first place, but I guess I was a little impressed. I mean, Jackie’s kind of… well, a goodie-goodie cheerleader. What the hell is she doing buying a bag?
But she tells me this crap about how she’s not just a goodie-goodie cheerleader and how she wants to be with me and stuff, and I’m just completely freaked out. First of all, dating your friend’s ex bites, because he’ll get pissed and crap, and I really don’t feel like having to kick Kelso’s ass. And second of all, it’s Jackie, man. Jackie, and God knows I’ve spent most of the time I’ve known Jackie hating her guts and trying to get her to get the hell out of Eric’s basement.
And now, all the sudden, Kelso breaks her heart, and she dumps him, and she’s all, “Steven, you’re so funny!” and “Steven, let’s hang out every waking moment of our lives!”
And I don’t want to hang out with her… Because I’m not that sweet, wonderful, cool guy that she says I am… I’m not the hot guy on the cover of some paperback novel she hides in her English book. I can’t be the guy she thinks I am, and I don’t want to be. I mean, Jackie’s hot, sure… But I can’t change for her. I won’t. I’m the same old dirtbag punk I was when she was dating Kelso, and she seems to think that’s attractive now or something.
Not that I like her or anything… She just deserves better than me. She’s got all these plans to have a house and kids and stuff like that. And if you knew my mom, you’d never get married. I mean, for God’s sake… Edna is not the great lady that Mrs. Forman is. And Jackie deserves to get what she wants… And I’m not what she wants. I’m just what she thinks she wants.
What I really am is a deadbeat, and as I’ve said before, I’ll be a success if I keep my ass out of prison.
Which isn’t looking too good for me right now, since I just told a damn cop that the stuff Jackie bought was mine.
Wait… Why’d I do that again?
If I figure that out, I might feel better about this cell I’m sittin’ in.
When the hell is Red gonna get here?
Wait, on second thought… This cell is nice. Damn nice. Because, in this cell, I don’t have to explain to Red that I’m in jail for possession… And I don’t have to explain why. He’s gonna call me a dumb ass, and I guess I am one, but still. I gotta figure out what to tell him. Because if he thinks I bought it, then I will be in SO much more trouble than I’m already in… And if I tell him Jackie bought it, he’ll tell her parents, and she’ll be in so much trouble.
You know what? I’m screwed. Because, as far as Red’s gonna know, I bought that bag.
Besides, I guess I’ll just be paying for all the other bags I got before that no one knew about except Forman and Fez and Kelso.
I am screwed. So screwed.